I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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