Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
