shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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