She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
