1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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