I hate all girls vehemently.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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