That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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