Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
