I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he thought i was a dude.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize