she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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