gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize