i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
