Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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