Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
