I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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