woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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