Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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