No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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