Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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