I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
