I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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