Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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