omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
did i walk over a car last night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
