I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
