Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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