ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
