I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
