If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
