It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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