just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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