she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
