My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
