what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Welp...herpes.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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