My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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