no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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