: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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