I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
