i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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