If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
