i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
