Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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