fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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