Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
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