We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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