I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize