i jhust puked up my retainher.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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