I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
