that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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