Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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