Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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