I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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