I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
