You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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