Do you still have your period?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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