VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
