why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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