bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
