Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
