Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
