I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
