she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I need to stop coming to work sober
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
