am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
