ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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