Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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