no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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