i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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